just for fun

SOMETHING TO MAKE YOU SMILE

This American couple on vacation with some friends in Mexico were shopping at the market to bring back a few souvenirs to their family and friends. The time passed and the couple realize that neither of them were wearing watches. They noticed this little Mexican man laying down taking a siesta next to this mule that had the largest set of mule nuts they had ever seen.

Trying not to stare at the huge mule nuts, they asked the little Mexican man, "Excuse us, could you tell us what time it is?

The little Mexican man reaches his hand out under the enormous set of nuts lifting them high and says "It's 3 o'clock"

Amazed by this, the American couple go off to find their friends and tell them the amazing story. "This little Mexican man over there, can tell time by lifting his mule's balls!" Curious and amazed by this, the friends want to see first hand, so they go back and ask him what time it was.

Sure enough, the little Mexican man reaches out again, cups his hands under the mule’s nuts lifts them up as if to weigh them, and says, “It is 3:15.” Their friends check the time on their watches and sure enough, the little man was correct.

Blown away by this, finally the American couple ask, "It is just amazing, how do you do that?"

"Do what?" the Mexican asks

"Tell the time by lifting your mule's balls!..

"Ah…." Says the Mexican..."I just need to lift his balls, so I can see that big clock across the street."

FW: BLOODY BRILLIANT!!!!!
Last night, my friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a £10 note.
When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the £10 note and stuck it to his bum cheek!
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a £20 note.
She called the guy back , licks the £20 note, and sticks it to his other bum cheek.
In another attempt to impress the rest of us, 
My third friend pulls out a £50 note and calls the guy over, and licks the £50 note.
I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, 
She just stuck it to one of his bum cheeks again.
Seeing the way things are going, the guy races over to me. Now everyone's attention is focused on me,and the guy is egging me on to try to top the £50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet.
What could I do?
The woman in me took over!
I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his bum, grabbed the eighty quid, and left!!!!